When I am am silent, I have thunder hidden inside.
-Rumi
I have a fear. A fear that I will become static, undeveloped & frozen. I will not be me.
I don’t worry much about this fear though. A continued interest in self development keeps me fresh, alive.
I ponder about our sleep choices for baby. Is our decision to co-sleep a healthy one? Does it serve baby’s development, attachment, & growth the best?
Our pediatrician is supportive of our choices. He also suggests transition to the crib eventually. Baby is ill. There will be no transition soon.
I read about “reactive co-sleeping”. Less of a choice, more of a fallback when parents cannot get their kids to sleep otherwise.
I would say we’re 90% co-sleeping by choice & 10% co-sleeping reactively. I can live with that.
What a funny society to think so carefully about the autonomy of parenting choices.
I read & re-read the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations for safe sleep. Baby in parents’ room, separate sleep space (i.e., crib), breastfeed, baby on back, no toys, blankets or bumpers, sleep routine, baby down awake but drowsy. Sure. Who really does baby sleep by the book?
My baby does not sleep through the night. He wakes. Nurses. Goes back to sleep. Wakes up smiling. Family criticize that baby shouldn’t need to nurse at night. Huh. Perhaps they are right. I allow comfort nursing. Problem?
Baby is almost one! We’ve survived quite a bit this first year together. We all learned & grew so much. Most importantly, our hearts have expanded exponentially & we are forever changed.
